Where should I start? Well I should first state that I was without a motor vehicle. I had to rely on my parents for transportation. My dad forgot this little fact and left me at the hotel the morning of the wedding. We were supposed to be at the church for pictures at noon. It was 1:30 before anyone noticed I was missing. My gown still didn't fit well, so during the ceremony, right before the vows I had to walk up stairs to the couple carrying the brides bouquet and my own. What do I do? I step on my dress. I tore a huge whole in the dress and yanked it down in front of everyone with NO hands to catch the dress and pull it back up. Thank goodness Sarah had a huge bouquet, because it covered the things that needed to be covered until I got back to my seat. Right about now you're probably thinking, wow, what a crappy day...let me stop you there because it gets better. After the ceremony, but before the reception, the bridal party crammed into a limo and drove around town getting pictures taken. At this point I was feeling really yucky. My blood sugar was dropping really fast, which was weird because I ate a two cut up apples with caramel sauce and a Turkey Tom sandwich from Jimmy Johns prior to the ceremony. By the time we finally reached the reception location I was shaking really bad and felt like I was going to be very ill, hopefully not in the direction of the bride, at any moment. My dad thought I was drunk, probably because everyone else in the limo was, but I digress. We get inside and sit down on a platform for everyone to see. My mom and a bunch of other people rush over to see if they could help me out. What do I do? Well it wasn't pretty and I did manage to do it in the opposite direction from my sister the bride. However, everyone saw it and everyone I'm sure thought I was drunk also. I wasn't, just needed to eat. My Matron of Honor speech was terribly short. I hadn't anticipated this happening to me. I could barely stand up I was shaking so bad. I'm not even sure if my shortened speech made sense. I just wanted the food to come out asap. After I finally ate, I was perfect, like nothing happened at all. It was SO weird. I'd really like to say that was the end of my crazy day, but just when things couldn't get anymore interesting, a groomsman's wife (who was beyond drunk)gave me a striptease and TWO lap dances. The highlight of my night. I was very flattered. I was waiting for her to start making out with me because she kept telling me how much she loved me and how beautiful I am. (Did I mention I just met her.)After that my night was pretty boring. Here's a picture from the festivities...
Me as the head glow worm and showing off one of the many holes in this dress.
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